Black Heart
by foxyoxy3
Summary: Bella chose Edward, breaking Jacob's heart and undoubtedly changing their friendship. What happens when Jacob makes a sudden midnight appearance, making her look back and re-evaluates the importance of his presence in her life?
1. Tapped To The Heart

A/N: Inspired by Calexico's song Black Heart. Read it, love it, review it!

The air was tense as I walked back into the house; I could already sense something was up. Charlie's truck was parked outside but no sounds came from inside the house. This led me to believe he was sitting very still, awaiting my arrival, no doubt to berate me about something. I thought back to the past week. I hadn't done anything wrong. I was sure of it.

Just as I had predicted, Charlie sat on the couch, clutching a grease-stained letter and gave me a stern look in response to my greeting. I dropped my backpack and readied myself to hear the venial sins I had unknowingly committed.

"Bella, why haven't you called Jacob? What did I tell you about balancing your romantic life with your other social life…you know, your friends?"

The veins in his neck pulsated fiercely at the mere mention of my 'romantic life,' a nice term he coined to avoid using Edward's name. Actually, he looked quite comical. Sort of like Popeye after opening a fresh can of spinach. I would have laughed too if he hadn't mentioned Jacob's name. I felt suddenly very empty, with no intention of eating. I was nauseous and my hands became sweaty…_Jacob_: My best friend or rather former best friend. I thought back to the last time I had spoken to him. He was in bed, gashes from his toes to his chest. Bloody strips of gauze covered his muscles, marring the usually shirtless Jacob and transforming him into an almost unrecognizable model of papier-mâché. It was in this condition that I told him my final choice was and always would be Edward. Just remembering the experience overwhelmed me with grief but when I was there, at the receiving end of his pitiful gaze, it was magnified tenfold.

"Is it from him?" I asked in a shaky voice, pointing my finger towards the letter.

"Yeah" Charlie got up and handed it to me. I looked up at him, tears already brimming in my eyes and he walked away, with a heavy sigh. Gently, I unfolded the crumpled paper.

_Dear Bella,_

_I respect the decision you've made and I hope this letter doesn't violate any terms. I'm not sure I should even try to stay in contact with you, in the least for my own sanity, but I wanted to let you know that I'm leaving La Push. Don't worry, this isn't a ploy to lure you to me (I wish it was that easy). I'll be home all day tomorrow just in case you want to stop by and see me before I go. For all it's worth, I tried to protect you as much as I could. I realize now that another man's righteousness is another man's long haul, sentence carried out. _

_Love Always,_

_Jacob_

_p.s. Sorry for the grease stains. I was doing some extra work on the Rabbit._

I was lucky the couch was behind me because right after I finished reading Jacob's letter, I collapsed on it. My heart pounded as I clutched the sheet with the tightest grasp I could manage. He was leaving. He was punishing me for leaving him and now he was going to do the same to me, except his departure was a little more indefinite. At least he knew I'd be with Edward and the Cullens, as safe as someone of my fate could be. He didn't even specify where he was going or for how long he'd be gone. Maybe If I stopped by tomorrow, I could find out some more details. I knew that I couldn't live without Edward but I also knew that I couldn't live without knowing that Jacob was alive… somewhere.

Once my heart beat settled, I got up and walked over to the phone. In the back of my mind, I thought that maybe it was a bad idea. But right now I just needed to feel normal. I was to be turned into a vampire soon and who knew when I'd ever really feel normal again. I picked up the phone and dialed the numbers I knew well enough to recite backwards.

"Hey beautiful," Edward said in his silky voice.

"Hey," I said, faltering slightly.

"What's wrong?" He said instantly, being so privy to every different emotion that I had. Jeez, was I really that transparent?

"N-nothing, everything is fine. I just I wanted to cancel our date for tomorrow. It's sort of important."

"Bella…are you going to see that _dog_?" Edward asked, with an obvious edge to his voice.

"Yes. But it will most likely be the last time. I just need some closure."

I heard no reply from the other line so I added, "You have nothing to worry about." It wasn't a lie but I sensed that Edward needed some reassurance.

"I'll drive you there."

"If you want, you can pick me up after I call you."

"Fine. If I don't hear from you by 7, I'm going to go looking for you and I won't be very merciful."

"Edward, I love you. Please don't doubt that."

"I love you too. You have until 7," he said before hanging up before hearing my protest.

A sentence from Jacob's letter floated back into my consciousness: _another man's righteousness is another man's long haul, sentence carried out. _Edward was as righteous as a man could be, saintly even; if only he had a soul. So was Jacob paying for being less than perfect? I mean, honestly, how could he compete with someone so self-less? Jacob was riddled with problems, still a boy struggling to be at least half the man his body seemed to suggest.

I shook my head to dispel these thoughts. They were dangerous. The second I started comparing them both, the more I wanted to find a way to keep them both in my life, a possibility I knew could not exist. I couldn't' just go up to Jacob, swing my arm around his shoulder and say: "Hey Jake, you wouldn't mind living in the guest room with me and Edward right? It'll be great. When he's out hunting, we can cuddle and watch movies." The thought itself was preposterous and I felt a little evil just thinking it. I needed to go to sleep. At this point, being plagued with nightmares from my unconscious was decidedly much more appealing than dealing with my real life issues.

I trudged up the stairs, silently cursing my mortality for requiring sleep. Once I changed into a ragged shirt and sweat pants, I climbed under my quilt and looked out my window. The sky was dark and void of stars, except for one. Remembering what Renee had told me when I was a little girl, I stared at the lone star. She said that if I wished upon the first star in the sky, my wish would come true. It was stupid, I know, but I was desperate. And hey, if myths about vampires and werewolves turned out to be real then maybe wishing upon a star would yield some sort of result. Either way, it wouldn't do any harm just to try. So I looked at that star with such intensity, I thought it would burst with all the mental exertion I was giving off. I prayed/hoped that some deity out there would give me a sign, signifying the best course of action I should take with Jacob. After I exhausted myself into a headache, I closed my eyes and let my stray thoughts have their way with me.

I awoke a few minutes later, only to discover a dog merrily dozing off at the end of my bed. My first thought was: when did Charlie buy a dog? I rubbed my eyes, still very tired but more curious than anything. It was then that I got good look at it. With a shaggy dark mane and a lopsided grin, it reminded me of someone I knew. One of the dog's eyes opened and winked at me. Could dogs do that? What was this strange mutt, with seemingly human qualities, doing in my bed? Then it dawned on me. It was Jacob. Of course it was Jacob. I wondered how he had morphed into a dog instead of a werewolf, but didn't think too much of it. Instead, I noticed that it felt right to have him here.

Light from the moon streamed into my room, bouncing off of Jacob's fur. He looked like a furry angel. I sat up in my bed, fully awake at this point, to question Jacob about this surprising visit.

"Jake," I said smiling. He opened both eyes this time and nodded, flashing his white teeth.

"What are you doing here?" I laughed out quietly.

In response, he got up, moved closer to my face, and licked me square on the jaw. Although I appreciated his pet-like affections, I quickly conceded that I would get nowhere talking to Jacob while he was a dog.

"Jacob, talk to me. I got your letter and I was going to see you tomorrow to say goodbye," I said, trying to disguise the disappointment in my voice.

Suddenly, Jacob shook violently, throwing his muzzle back and turning into his human form. I closed my eyes, remembering that he would most likely be naked.

I heard soft laughter and opened them again.

"Don't worry Bells, I dress quickly. But you don't have to shield your eyes if you don't want to. I don't mind if you look," he teased.

I threw a small pillow at him but couldn't help but smile. God, I'd miss this.

He grabbed the pillow instantly, arm outstretched, showing off his animal reflexes along with his defined biceps. I couldn't help but stare and eventually he noticed. He didn't laugh or even smile. He just looked at me, with a mixture of pain and yearning. I looked down at my forlorn shirt and immediately felt very inadequate. Here was this tan and gloriously rippled young man, straight out of a fashion magazine-and here I was, in my mother's old sweats and over-sized t-shirt.

"You're beautiful," Jacob said hoarsely.

I stared up at him with a look of unease, unable to fathom how he always managed to read my mind as well as dispel all of my insecurities. He took my hand and squeezed it gently, spreading warmth into my body as if I had just downed a cup of hot chocolate.

"Before I leave, can you do me one favor?" he asked, not looking me in the eyes.

"That depends on the favor," I said, weary of what he could be thinking at a time like this.

"You do realize that I will most likely never see you again, Bella"

I gulped and let out a barely audible "Yes."

"Let me have you," he said matter-of-factly.

"WHAT?"

"Let me have one piece of you to carry on with me. Something the paras- Edward doesn't have. He has your heart. Let me have your body. Just for tonight."

"Jacob Black! How dare you ask that of me?" I whispered as loudly as possible, running the words together. I was so incised that I'm sure my eyes would have been as red as a newborn vampire's, if they had the capability.

Jacob looked back at me, obviously hurt by my quick rejection but also pensive. He had another plan up his sleeve. I just knew it. He looked back at me, his dark eyes burning with a kind of fire that could only have been caused by an unrequited love.

"I knew you'd say that but it isn't as bad as you think. I wasn't gunna do half the stuff you were probably thinking." he said, smirking weakly.

The way he said those words and his sad attempt at a smile broke my heart, momentarily allowing me forget my previous anger. I could at least let him say his peace. I owed him that much.

"So what is it you wanted to do then?" I asked timidly, carefully masking my voice of any irritation I was feeling.

At this, his face lit up and he gave me devious smile, unlike the playful smiles I usually received. Before I even noticed him move, he was inches away from my ear, breathing heavily.

"Why don't I just show you?" he said huskily.

I was speechless. For one of the few times in mine and Jacob's relationship, I was utterly and completely speechless. My breath hitched in my throat and my limbs felt paralyzed. I pictured Edward staring through the window, luminous white as the stars, give or take a murderous gleam. But my imagined scenario was quickly shattered by Jacob's lips across my neck, Edward's face breaking into millions of tiny and brilliant pieces of glass.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, barely holding back my tears.

Jacob stopped kissing my neck but stayed where he was. He let out a sigh, sending shivers down my spin.

"Because I will never be able to _love_ anyone else, _imprint_ on anyone else, until the day you physically die. I feel like the moment he turns you into a leech, the ancient spirits will take pity on me and allow me to find love elsewhere."

My whole body ached. Probably something similar to the pain he was experiencing, only slightly muted. I wanted to cradle Jacob in my arms and tell him that I loved him as well. I wanted to tell him that he'd always hold a place in my heart and that I appreciated his friendship more than he could ever know. I wanted to tell him that had we lived in a normal world, where vampires and werewolves didn't exist; chances are that we'd be together.

"But you _will_ find someone after me then." I assured him, not quite so sure myself. "Isn't that something to look forward to?"

"What if I don't want to? What then Bella? I _want_ to stay in love with you. You've known me as a boy, as a werewolf, and now as a man. No one will _ever_ know me like you do; love me as I was and as I am. No one."

Once again I couldn't respond, so I opted for a physical gesture to show Jacob that I sympathized with him. I put my arms around him and he held me back with his strong grip, his hard abs pressed against me and his fragrant hair tickling my nose. He smelled like the air after a rain fall, crisp and earthy. I breathed him in and let him continue holding me. Once his grip lightened, he faced me and before I could say anything, he kissed me. His lips crashed on mine, soft and wet.

All thoughts ceased.

He pried open my lips with his tongue and gracefully maneuvered his way into my mouth. He tasted like sugar cane. Before I knew what I was doing, I was reciprocating the kiss, mimicking his every move.

Jacob moaned into my mouth and grasped my sides, pulling me as close to him as possible. I was burning up all over but for some reason, I didn't care in the least. His hot mouth moved to my neck again, leaving a trail of kisses etched with fire. Meanwhile, his hand ventured underneath my shirt, tracing my bare flesh with his fingers before deciding that my shirt was better off than on.

He growled lightly and tried to pull it off. I let him. Jacob pulled back for a moment, gazing at my bare chest, with his eyes glistening and his mouth slightly agape. I saw his chest move according to his irregular heart beats. It seemed as though he had arrhythmia, but I supposed that was just what happened when a werewolf became turned on. I smiled, giving him the signal that it was ok to touch. He stretched his arms out slowly and then leaned down so that he was facing my breasts. He licked his lips and put one nipple in his mouth, making my breath stop and eyes bulge slightly. That felt really good.

I laced my fingers through his long hair and caressed his head while he moved on to the other nipple, lavishing my chest with the attention it had long been denied by Edward…Oh God…Edward. I had completely forgotten. Suddenly, I pushed Jacob off, covering my chest and looking very shell-shocked.

He looked confused and tried to hold me again but I stopped him by placing my hand on his chest.

"What is it Bells? You're killing me here." He said, worried but also unabashedly aroused.

"I. I can't do this. I can't even believe I let you get this far."

"I wouldn't say that was very far. Although my erection would say otherwise," he joked.

"This isn't funny Jacob."

"No it's not," he said, suddenly very serious "and neither is this."

His lips crashed against mine one again, even more passionate and aggressive than before. Apparently he was being gentle the first time. This kiss was nothing if not…hungry. I was powerless to stop him, not that I wanted to anymore. I was tired of depriving myself. Jacob wasn't just my friend and he never would be.

He let go for a moment, never breaking eye contact, to take off his shorts. I caught only a glimpse of his manhood before he pounced on me, leaving me breathless from his adoring lips. He moved from my mouth to my cheek, from my cheek to my neck, my neck to my chest, my chest to my stomach. Although I was moaning after each ministration, nothing could have prepared me for when he stopped at my waist and pulled down my sweat pants in one swift motion. I shuddered as he kissed the inside of my thigh, running his hot tongue just near enough to my entrance that I felt his hot breath on me, mouth salivating like an animal.

I was new to this and couldn't help but me a little intimidated. I wondered whether I'd look normal _down there._ Jacob looked up at me as he kissed my center, which was still clothed. I knew that Charlie was asleep but I couldn't help moaning Jacob's name, as quietly as possible. Apparently, the moan was quiet but deadly. Jacob took this as a sign to move toward my hip bone, where my bikini string held snug against my body. He ripped it with his teeth. That simple action sent me over the edge where no borders existed. My body flooded with pleasure and I didn't think it could get any better. Was that even considered foreplay?

My eyes were almost completely closed, as I had already completely given into temptation. Now I was just riding it out. I felt Jacob nearing my opening and spreading it gently with two fingers.

Continued

His brought his tongue in between his fingers and put my nub in his mouth, his full lips shining with my wetness. Jacob moaned as he delved further with his tongue, more than happy just to satisfy me. At this point, I was clutching onto the very pillow I had previously tried to throw at him, hoping that it would keep me from screaming out all the filthy things I wanted to say. Jacob stopped licking me temporarily, only to urge me not to hold back in the sexiest voice I'd ever heard him use. It was as if his was singing an erotic ballad, his words the lyrics and his tongue the instrument. He moved his tongue in slow circles around my clit before sucking on it gently, unleashing melodies out of me that I had never thought possible to create. He licked along my lips, up and down, letting go of them to massage the outside of my thighs. All the pleasure in my body focused to where his mouth was, kissing and licking me. I knew I was nearing orgasm because if this feeling intensified at all, I would surely die of bliss. My hips bucked and he quickened the pace of his tongue, inserting one finger into me to bring me over the edge. His plan succeeded and before I knew it, I was riding his finger mercilessly, eyes rolling to the back of my head, and unintelligibly muttering his name.

Jacob smirked before pulling out his finger and licking it, obviously a little smug from my body's reaction to him. I took the finger from his mouth put it in mine, earning a low groan from Jacob. I sucked on his finger, going up and down, mimicking what I wanted to do with a different part of him. I pushed him down on the bed, moving down to where his shaft stood, long and hard. I put as much of him into my mouth as possible. I knew that I was an amateur at this but I would have to use my common sense. Judging by Jacob's moans though, I didn't think I was doing anything too badly. I licked around the tip, lightly biting along the edges.

"Bells," Jacob gasped.

I took him out of my mouth to reply innocently.

"What?"

"You need to stop or I'm going to cum and I want to be inside of you when I do."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

I couldn't contest because he reached down for my face and pulled me up. I bit teasingly at his ear and he growled once more, moving his cock to my entrance. I didn't mention protection and neither did he, going against my better judgment. However, I did want to know whether this was his first time.

"Wait, Jacob."

He stopped and pulled back.

"What is it Bella," he said, adoringly running a hand along the side of my face.

"Is this…your first time?" I asked a little awkwardly.

"Yes."

I smiled. For some reason, I was glad we could be each other's firsts, traversing this unknown land together. New places always felt safer when Jacob was around.

"Tell me if I hurt you."

I looked at him shyly before nodding my head in response.

Jacob shifted his body on top of mine, resting his arms on the side so as not to crush me. He used one hand to glide his penis along my slit, reminding us both how much we wanted this. He went in excruciatingly slowly, inserting just the tip and a little extra. It hurt a little but the sensation of him inside me overpowered the tiny pain. He went deeper this time, giving me all of his eight inches and making me cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

"You ok?" he mumbled, still pumping slowly into me.

"Go faster."

He lavished my neck and increased his pace, slowly ridding me of all my pain and replacing it with pure, unadulterated delight. I felt like I was nearing my release and then, out of no where he pulled out and sat up.

"I wanna try something a little different," he said, pulling me up and turning me around so that my back faced him. He placed himself back inside of me, making me feel whole again.

"Spread your legs a little, hun."

I obeyed and he reached around to stimulate my clit with pumping into me from behind. Whether he was lying about this being his first time or his inner werewolf had gifted him with the abilities of a closeted sex god, I didn't know and didn't care because this felt amazing.

His free hand caressed my breasts, the combination of being pleasured from every angle eventually bringing me to my first blinding, shuddering orgasm. I felt him climax shortly after me, releasing his juices inside of me until he was spent.

It was then I woke up.

I bolted upright. My shirt was drenched with sweat and I was breathing so fast I thought my heart would fly out of my chest. I looked around for signs of Jacob's presence but found nothing. My bed was clean and smelled of fresh linen, only slightly damp from my sweat. I looked under my blanket, silly enough to believe that Jacob was hiding somewhere underneath. But there was nothing. Nothing. The only peculiar thing was the strange wetness in my panties.

It was just a dream; a vibrant, insanely realistic dream. I lay back on my side, looked at the clock that read 5:15 a.m., and passed out.

That morning I woke up with a massive headache, accompanied by large bags under my eyes. I trudged down the steps and walked into the kitchen, hoping that Charlie had already gone to work. No such luck. Charlie was sitting at the breakfast table, jovially munching on some toast and reading the morning paper.

"Mornin' Bells"

"Good Morning," I said in a lackluster voice.

Charlie knew that I wasn't much of a morning person and had a vague idea that I was prone to nightmares, so he didn't ask about my tired appearance.

"Want some eggs? I think I might make an omelet."

"I'm ok. I think I'll just have some cereal." I didn't mention that Charlie's lack of cooking knowledge could sully even the simplest omelet.

I filled up my bowl with some lucky charms and milk, looking very much like the quintessential American teen girl, who just so happened to dream cheat on her vampire boyfriend with her werewolf best friend…very typical.

"I heard you saying Jacob's name last night in your sleep. Listen, if this is really plaguing your conscience, I really think you should work things out with him. Are you going over to see him today?" Charlie asked, peeking through his newspaper as if afraid to read my expression. Coward.

I nearly choked on a marshmallow. I guess_ I_ was the coward. I pretended that the loud crunching of the cereal kept me from hearing his question, holding my finger up to indicate for him to wait and chewing in exaggerated bites. I had to think of what to say. I couldn't think. All I could do was study the different kinds of marshmallows: a pot of gold, hearts, red balloons, stars, blue moons.

"Are you avoiding the question?"

"No. Sorry, I got distracted. Did you know there were red balloons in here?"

"What?"

"Never mind. Um, yeah I'm going to La Push today." I still couldn't say his name

"Great." And with that, Charlie went back to reading his paper, satisfied with my answer. If only he knew why I got so nervous at the mere mention of his name; maybe then, Charlie wouldn't be so eager to have me go to him. Charlie probably thought that dream sex was on the same level as regular sex, at least when it came to me.

I emptied my nearly entirely full bowl into the sink and rushed upstairs, giving Charlie a quick peck on the cheek.

After a long, hot shower I felt somewhat ready to face Jacob. I had scraped away last nights physical remnants, unfortunately the mental image just wouldn't budge no matter how long I held my head under the water.

I brushed my hair out and put on a pair of jeans along with a long-sleeved white shirt. I still looked tired so I put some concealer, which Alice had snuck into my bags, under my eyes. If I had known how to apply make-up, I would've done it just to kill time. Seeing as how I didn't have the first clue how to put on mascara without blinding myself, I decided that I should just go and get it over with.

Running downstairs with more jitteriness than energy, I yelled out a quick bye to Charlie before jumping into my truck. My heart beat sped up in anticipation for what was to come and I sat in the car for a good five minutes before I willed up the courage to start the engine. Driving to La Push was surprisingly easy. Everything was a blur and I was a little surprised that I didn't hit anybody. I was so dazed, my head reeling with visions of Jacob, matted bed sheets, warm hands, and laughter in the background. Always laughter in the background.


	2. Fangs Are Stuck Inside My Skin

A/N: Dear readers, I initially intended for this story to be a simple one-shot. I hope I didn't disappoint too many of you by not developing the plot.

I somehow made it to Jacob's, alive but not so well. I put the gear in park and turned off the ignition, quieting my truck but also triggering the reverse effect on my nerves. I saw his front porch and zeroed in on the door. Would he still be waiting for me, knowing that there was a large chance I wouldn't come?

The door opened and I gripped the steering wheel. I saw Billy Black's face curiously scan the area where the loud disturbance-courtesy of my ancient vehicle-was coming from. I stepped out of the car and waved a shaky hand, placing me into his line of vision and earning me a slight nod. It was the kind of nod you give your annoying cousin at a family reunion; it said, 'I'm acknowledging your presence but I don'twant to start up conversation.'

"He's out back, Bella."

"Thanks," I said, suddenly only able to look down at the ground. I knew that I shouldn't have felt responsible for being the reason Jacob was leaving, but I did and I sensed that Billy blamed me too. Billy wheeled back into the house, casting me one last reproving glance that didn't subtly point fingers so much as scream: _it's your fault_, loud and clear.

I walked towards the garage armed with absolutely nothing. No strategy. No redeeming speeches. I'd be lucky if I could even stare Jacob in the face let alone tell him all the things that had been circulating through mind these past few weeks.

"Hey"

I turned around to come face to face with a smiling Jacob. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Did I wake you from a daydream or something?"

"Huh?"

"You looked so deep in thought. I was about to bring you over a large rock so that you could sit on it and ponder the meaning of life. Maybe you'd even rest your fist under your chin."

"Very funny Jacob. I swear, I would recommend doing stand-up but the owners of the comedy club probably wouldn't want to risk the chance of their comedian getting angry, turning into a large mythical beast, and morphing back into a naked man. That'd be awkward," I retorted, surprised that I had countered his joke.

Jacob shook his head before laughing and pulling me into a bear hug. Just as I was about to pass out from asphyxiation, Jacob let go, giving me just enough time to stare at him without looking too obvious. He was pretty much naked, save from the faded dark denim jeans he was wearing. They hung just under his hip bones, showing the elastic band of his black boxers. His chest glistened slightly of sweat and he smelled musky and warm. The scent went straight to my brain, jumbling up my thoughts, bursting images of Jacob coaxing me out of my clothes, licking me everywhere. I drew a sharp breathe, as if I had just regained air in my lungs after being at the bottom of a pool.

"Bells, you alright there?" Jacob asked, grabbing my arms lightly and looking into my eyes.

I breathed out slowly.

"Yeah, sorry."

Jacob smirked, letting go of my arms. "Well you wouldn't be the first girl to have a panic attack after seeing me."

His warm eyes stayed on me, piercing through every shield I had set up against him and destroying any witty remark I could have given him. That was it. It was now or never. I had to tell him how I felt. And quickly, before I suddenly blurted out "Jacob-I-had-a-sex-dream-with-you-and-it-was-really-great-can-we-do-it-and-not-tell-edward-thanks?"

"Bella, what's on your mind?" he said, doing my job for me.

"Don't leave," I said bluntly. I didn't even mean to say it but it just came out. Either way, it was better than the other scenario.

"I can't stay here," Jacob responded quietly, dejectedly, "I can't watch that bloodsucker drain the life out of you. Out of me."

"Maybe if-" And then I was cut off.

"No ifs Bella," Jacob said, suddenly angry. "You _made_ your choice. Now I've made mine. It's final."

I felt myself starting to tear up for what felt like the fiftieth time this week. There had to be a way that I could make him stay. I was desperate.

"If I sleep with you, will you stay?"

"What did you say?" Jacob blinked, looking shocked and confused and intrigued all at the same time.

"You can't be serious Bella."

"Just once. Only once. Only if you stay." My voice was pleading. I felt like a child tugging on their parent's shirt.

"Your vampire would know. He'd see everything in my mind. Would you want him to know how you _screamed_ my name?" Jacob asked, coming closer to me.

"He'd forgive me," I said, believing it.

"He would, wouldn't he? What a gentleman that bloodsucker is," Jacob said mockingly.

"Shut up." This was not the time to discuss Edward, even though it was a good a time as any.

"Sorry…so are you serious about this?"

"Yes. Now don't ask any more questions or all I'll have too much time to think and I'll back out."

Jacob bent his head down to my ear.

"Wwwhen, wwwhere?" he whispered slowly, rolling his tongue sensually. He drew out both words longer than needed and I could hear the desire in his voice. Knowing that this was such a tempting offer to him made me a feel hot. My stomach burned, creating fiery butterflies that wouldn't stop fluttering. Every touch, every emotion I had towards Jacob felt like fire. It was the strangest anomaly.

"I don't know when or where. Is Billy leaving the house anytime soon?" My mind wasn't my own. Some different Bella had taken over. The only part I recognized was my uncertainty of time or place.

"Billy is going fishing tomorrow morning with Charlie, I think."

"Forget it. Just come over tonight around midnight."

"_Jesus_." He slid his hands through his long hair. "Are you really going to let me _fuck_ you?" Jacob asked, dropping his arm and looking at me with squinty eyes, as if I was not the same Bella. I could see why he'd be so curious. I had never this brazen, especially not with him.

"Yes. And for the meantime, can we use the word _sleep_ instead of _fuck_. Thanks." Now that sounded more like me.

Jacob smiled. I'm pretty sure he had begun to think I was some sort of robot but now he recognized that it was actually me, the klutzy, uncertain Bella.

He hugged me again, this time more gently. He ran his hand from the base of my neck to the small of my back, holding on lightly but firmly at the same time. Jacob let out a low growl, making me close my eyes momentarily. This was eerily familiar.

"Don't fall asleep," he stated, before letting go and walking back towards his car.

I stayed there for a couple seconds, eyes still closed, willing myself not to drown in thought. I needed to get home. I would allow myself only that thought. I_ needed_ to go home.

I ran to my truck, without looking back at Jacob.

My cell phone rang.

It was 5:00 pm.

It was Edward.

"Hi," I said, putting on my best 'I'm ok' voice.

"Hi back. Are you alright? Where are you?"

"I'm driving back home. I should be there in 20 minutes, so don't worry."

"That's impossible," Edward laughed lightly.

I smiled into the phone.

"Could I come over tonight? I feel like I haven't seen you in so long."

"Yeah, I guess two days is pretty long for us; but I promised I'd have dinner with Charlie, how about tomorrow night?" I felt terrible lying to Edward. It was actually making me physically sick but _something_, something was telling me that it needed to be done. I'd tell him the truth later and although I didn't want to get ahead of myself, I knew he'd forgive me.

"Is it because I called you too early?" The tone of his voice broke my heart.

"No, really I'm fine. I love you. Call me tomorrow."

"I love you too, Bella. Please be safe."

"Goodbye Edward." I hung up feeling empty. The only thing sustaining me was the little flicker of light that Jacob had always given me, that little glimmer of hope; my lone star.

That night, I was pacing around my room, tracing figure eight patterns into my carpet. It was warm outside so I had on a pair of small pajama shorts and a light tank top. The background noise of the wind, from outside my window, intermingled with Charlie's snores. I was thankful for the noise. If it had been quiet, I probably would have gone slightly crazy.

By 11:30 I had begun to panic. My clothes felt too revealing, my room too stuffy. Everything was getting to me. I lay down to quiet my nerves, deciding it was best to try and rest before seeing Jacob.

At 11:59 I heard a scraping sound coming from my window. A moment later, a dark figure was standing in my room and my heart sunk to my stomach. Some creature had come to kill me, no doubt some maniac vampire that had heard of my amazing scent. It was then that Jacob flashed his pearly white teeth, at once making me feel at ease.

"I told you not to go to sleep," Jacob said, sporting his usual all encompassing grin.

"I was just resting up a little."

"Smart choice. That rest will come in handy after what I'm going to do to you." He was half-serious, half-joking.

I got up to playfully hit him on the chest but before I had the chance to do any damage, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. My face landed right before his and he wasted no time taking advantage of the position. Just like in my dream, his lips were on mine, soft yet aggressive. His tanned arms wrapped around my waist and he held me firmly against his burning chest. I could feel the ridges of his ab muscles against my body, firm and taut.

"God, Bella. I've imagined this moment so many times," he whispered yearningly into my hair.

He then hoisted me up and I instinctually wrapped my legs around his waist. I was straddling him mid-air in such an intimate position and I had to admit that it felt strange. I wasn't sure if I was okay with this. Jacob's hands were holding up my bottom and his lips were on my neck, his tongue licking me. I conceded that it felt strange but good nonetheless. He muttered a low '_bed' _before laying me down, with him directly on top of me. Jacob stayed above me for a few moments, hovering over my body like a predator. His pupils were completely dark, dilated with desire and his breath was irregular. He was out for the hunt.

He looked down at my heaving chest and bit his lower lip. I was nervous about this, about him, about us but I couldn't stop this. I was in a trance. Jacob moved his hands further down, not breaking eye contact. Once he reached my shorts, he pulled them down slowly, laboriously and threw them somewhere near the bed. His hand then ventured to my underwear. He pulled it aside and began tracing my lips his finger. At this, we moaned in unison.

"It's nice to see you're wet for me honey," he smiled mischievously. I suddenly felt embarrassed_, exposed. _

I stared at his jeans, the same ones he had on earlier in the day. His bulge was straining against the tough fabric and I could imagine it hurt a little, judging from his large size.

I was happy to see I wasn't the only one being affected by our little tryst.

"Yeah, well you seem pretty excited to be here as well," I said breathlessly.

"Oh, I _am_," he said before plunging a finger into me. I gasped, grabbing onto his forearms for support.

"Mmmm. You're so tight," he moaned, pumping his index finger in and out while his thumb massaged my clit. Jacob unzipped his pants with his free hands and began to stroke himself. I could feel myself about to cum and watching Jacob just sent me that much closer to the precipice of my release. I came, shuddering and panting, with Jacob's fingers still in me. He smiled and licked them both, closing his eyes with unfiltered joy written all over his face.

He went back to kissing me, ravaging my neck. Jacob bit down softly and licked in small circles, creating a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain. He turned my head to the side to get better coverage of my neck, moving his wet lips to my collar bone.

It was then that I saw us in the mirror. All the feeling drained from my body. How could I have thought this was alright? This wasn't a dream. Dreams could be forgiven. This was reality and in reality, a girl didn't show her love for someone by sleeping with someone else. I pushed Jacob off of me wordlessly, got up and put on my shorts. He looked as if he'd been slapped.

"You need to leave, Jacob." I said, avoiding his eyes.

"What did I do? Bella, please tell me." As a change of pace, it now sounded like Jacob was on the verge of tears.

"I love you Jacob and I always will but Edward…_Edward_ is my life. And although my body is saying one thing, my mind and heart say another. I'm so sorry Jacob."

"Yeah, yeah. I figured you'd chicken out." His voice was lighthearted, but I knew Jacob and I could hear the underlying dejection in his tone. I had broken his heart yet again.

"Once you imprint this will just be a silly little story. I promise you," I tried to assure him.

"Bella, have you ever thought that maybe I don't _want_ to love anyone else, that maybe I'm perfectly content with pining after you for all my life?"

"I know, I know, you've already told me that before but that's only what you think _now_."

Jacob looked confused. "I never told you that before."

I stood in my room, immobile. That was what Jacob had told me in my dream. Maybe not in those exact words, but the meaning was the same. Based on the prophetic quality of my dreams, was I meant to have sex with him then? Was I veering fate off course by denying the both of us?

Even if the answer was yes, I didn't care. In my dream, Edward's image broke into millions of tiny pieces but here, now, he was still in one piece. He had my heart and it was only due to him that it was in one piece. The least I could do to repay him was abstain from having sex with Jacob.

Jacob's hand waved in front of my eyes, waking me from my reverie.

"Bella, I'm leaving," he stated plainly.

"For good?" I couldn't seem to make any facial expressions. My face was a blank slate

"I think so."

"I'm going to miss you," I said, trying so hard not to break down right there.

Jacob kissed me on the forehead.

"Not as much as I'm going to miss you." And with that, he leapt out the window and out of my life.

I collapsed on my bed and began to cry, tears streaming down my face. I tried to muffle my sobs with a pillow but it didn't do much to help because in a few minutes Charlie stumbled in, half-asleep.

"What is it Bella? What's wrong?"

"Jacob's gone," I nearly wailed. "He's gone dad."

All Charlie could do was hold me. He was never much of a talker but this small gesture did more than he could ever know. I felt protected; the way Jacob made me feel. It was just what I needed.

The next morning, I woke up to blinding light coming from my window. The day looked sunny and beautiful, making a complete mockery of my very sullen mood. I turned in my bed, sighed and reached for my cell phone. My fingers felt like lead as I punched in the numbers but my heart felt light, lighter than it had felt for the past couple of days.

"Bella," Edward's voice sounded in relief.

"Come over. I've missed you," I pleaded in a raspy voice.

"Finally," he laughed quietly.

Finally.

End Note: I will probably be writing another Jacob/Bella one-shot in the future. Although I am mostly Team Switzerland, I do lean towards Jacob and I must admit this story didn't end the way I really wanted it to. My next story will probably not end with Bella/Edward. Hope you enjoyed! Feedback would be great.


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